Sexual Intimacy an Example for the Family

Intimacy is a very controversial topic in today’s society because the majority of people sexualize it. However, intimacy doesn’t just apply with sex. Dictionary.com defines intimacy as a close, familiar and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group. I like this definition because it shows that intimacy is the small, loving acts of kindness that show affection for someone you love. It is true that deep affection leads to sexual intimacy. Yet in today’s society I feel that the affection and really intimacy is lost to sex being taught as a something so meaningless and just recreational. I would like to talk about how intimacy and sexual intimacy can affect the family.

In the book written by Lauer and Lauer the author talks about the different stages of intimacy and how it leads to sexual intimacy. Men and women experience these stages differently because of the difference in hormones, anatomy and even just brain make up. It is these differences that cause so many issues within a relationship. It is important that both men and women can better understand their feelings, arousal and anatomy so that they can be united. Once these are better understood then there can be open communication between the couple about the things that are desirable within a relationship. A comment was made that women need a safe environment to have sex and men feel safe when having sex. This is interesting because it shows that there needs to be understanding and communication on both parts. A man can provide that safe environment for the wife so that she can then feel open to have sex. Then the wife by showing that sexual intimacy creates that safe feeling for the man. Intimacy within a relationship can show the success of within other areas of the relationship as well. This is because sex and intimacy are difficult to openly talk about and find solutions to problems. If a couple can talk about these things, then they are more likely to be able to talk about other problems within the family. As a couple finds the sexual unity then they can be examples and teach their children about intimacy.

Children and the family need to know about the positive side of sexual intimacy. I feel that the sexuality is taught wrong by so many people. We teach that sex is wrong and not ok but, it is not ok before marriage. This type of teaching then leads to couples still having problems with sexual intimacy after being married because they were taught that it is so bad. So, what can parents do to teach their children about sexuality? Boys and girls need to be taught differently because of the differences in sexuality. The main thing is that parents need to talk with their children openly about feelings or questions that arise from the topic. This important so that children know they can turn to their parents for advice rather than the internet or friends. Studies have shown that when a girl has a strong, healthy relationship with her father then she is less likely have negative thoughts about sexuality. A father needs to help his daughter feel that she is awesome, beautiful and loved. While with their sons they need to teach that it is their job to be able to love and be affectionate with their wife with out always needing sex. Laura Robertson who is a licensed sex therapist gave a broadcast to talk about her two books related to sexual intimacy and how it can affect a relationship she also talked about when a parent needs to educate their children about sexuality. She stated that there are at least five times in their lives that they need to hear about sexuality. The five are before starting school (good touch bad touch), at the age of accountability, before puberty, before dating, and before marriage.