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Families working as a system



The family unit is very interesting to observe because so many things can be going on at once. This means that the family can be systematically set up so that each person has a job that they know needs to get done so that life goes on as planned. When the system is broken then fixes can be made. Lots of time divorce, death or other illnesses make it so one member of the system is absent. When this happens the other members can take over to fill in the missing link. The parents are responsible for nurturing and providing for the children. The children however have responsibility as well. With each responsibility comes boundaries that help to provide structure and support for the family as a whole.

Salvador Minuchin was a family therapist that created a way to evaluate the relationships within a family to help them set healthy boundaries to keep the family working happily. Through lots of observation he was able to see patterns within struggling families. His method of family mapping helped to view the current boundaries and see how they could be changed to work better. He had three types of boundaries which were, the almost none existent, the perfect boundaries and the strict or ridged ones.  There are different types of boundaries that need to be looked at to help a family function as it should. Hopefully balance can be achieved within all boundaries to have a happy family that will be successful. First, the parent boundaries. Parents need to be loving and supportive of one another to be in the position to raise children. This also means that the grownup stuff stays out of the children's lives to avoid unneeded stress on them. Then comes the parent children boundaries. Obviously, the parents should be involved in what is going on in their lives but they shouldn't be overbearing, protective or almost none existent. Each parent should take the time to have quality time with each child individually to build trust while supporting the positive activities that child is involved with. Next, is the sibling boundaries. This one is a fun one because sometimes the older siblings think they are the parents but they really are not and it makes the younger siblings angry. Each child should know their responsibilities and enjoy spending time together. Boundaries are important so that healthy examples can be set while raising the future generations. According, to Minuchin family boundaries constantly change so we need to keep doing those things that allow them to become more ideal so that the family can be happy. His ideal family map on boundaries is as follows, the parents at the head both equal. There are no boundaries between parents meaning that they are to speak openly one with another, love and support each other. They are to keep their children from the worries of parents. When the parents are equal and on the same page the family life will run smoothly.  When these boundaries are set family rules tend to be formed.

Family rules that are created are usually learned by the younger children through  a experience. For example, siblings can beat up on siblings but the minute someone else is mean to one sibling the rest are there for backup when all heck breaks loose. Another, family rule could be when the parents are not home the older siblings tend to over step their babysitting bounds, acting way to much like the parents would. Some family rules have to do with what happens in public. In my family if we were in public and did something wrong our mom would give us a look which meant we are in trouble when we get home.

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