Intimacy is a very controversial topic in today’s society because the majority
of people sexualize it. However, intimacy doesn’t just apply with sex.
Dictionary.com defines intimacy as a close, familiar and usually affectionate
or loving personal relationship with another person or group. I like this
definition because it shows that intimacy is the small, loving acts of kindness
that show affection for someone you love. It is true that deep affection leads
to sexual intimacy. Yet in today’s society I feel that the affection and really
intimacy is lost to sex being taught as a something so meaningless and just
recreational. I would like to talk about how intimacy and sexual intimacy can
affect the family.
In the book written by Lauer and Lauer the author talks about the
different stages of intimacy and how it leads to sexual intimacy. Men and women
experience these stages differently because of the difference in hormones,
anatomy and even just brain make up. It is these differences that cause so many
issues within a relationship. It is important that both men and women can
better understand their feelings, arousal and anatomy so that they can be
united. Once these are better understood then there can be open communication
between the couple about the things that are desirable within a relationship. A
comment was made that women need a safe environment to have sex and men feel
safe when having sex. This is interesting because it shows that there needs to
be understanding and communication on both parts. A man can provide that safe
environment for the wife so that she can then feel open to have sex. Then the
wife by showing that sexual intimacy creates that safe feeling for the man.
Intimacy within a relationship can show the success of within other areas of
the relationship as well. This is because sex and intimacy are difficult to
openly talk about and find solutions to problems. If a couple can talk about
these things, then they are more likely to be able to talk about other problems
within the family. As a couple finds the sexual unity then they can be examples
and teach their children about intimacy.
Children and the family need to know about the positive side of
sexual intimacy. I feel that the sexuality is taught wrong by so many people.
We teach that sex is wrong and not ok but, it is not ok before marriage. This
type of teaching then leads to couples still having problems with sexual
intimacy after being married because they were taught that it is so bad. So,
what can parents do to teach their children about sexuality? Boys and girls
need to be taught differently because of the differences in sexuality. The main
thing is that parents need to talk with their children openly about feelings or
questions that arise from the topic. This important so that children know they
can turn to their parents for advice rather than the internet or friends.
Studies have shown that when a girl has a strong, healthy relationship with her
father then she is less likely have negative thoughts about sexuality. A father
needs to help his daughter feel that she is awesome, beautiful and loved. While
with their sons they need to teach that it is their job to be able to love and
be affectionate with their wife with out always needing sex. Laura
Robertson who is a licensed sex therapist gave a broadcast to talk about her
two books related to sexual intimacy and how it can affect a relationship she
also talked about when a parent needs to educate their children about
sexuality. She stated that there are at least five times in their lives that
they need to hear about sexuality. The five are before starting school (good
touch bad touch), at the age of accountability, before puberty, before dating, and
before marriage.
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