Transitioning Into Marriage

When does the transition in to marriage began? Some would think that it starts the minute the couple says, “I Do”. However, this is a false thought because the transition starts during the processes of engagement. Engagement is thought to be the trial run of marriage however; the couple still doesn’t live together. So, if the transition starts at the engagement what things need to be talked over and figured out?

First, would be all the headache of wedding planning. Both parties and their parents should be involved in the planning. This could be used as a great opportunity for bonding and spending quality time together. Also, the couple must talk about who will be paying for the wedding. This is important so that the couple doesn’t run into problems down the road. Some problems that can arise from the cost of the wedding would be going into debt, the parents thinking they are in charge of what happens at the wedding and much more. Some of these problems can be avoided if there is communication between the couple beforehand and some planning. The couple has to agree on the price of the wedding and who will pay for it. They have to decide whether or not they want to be in debt for the wedding. If they don’t want to be in debt, then they have to decide whether or not they want to be tied to parents for having them pay for the wedding. Once that is figured our then the couple can decide on other important wedding details.

After the wedding is planned then the couple can talk about some other important transitions that well take place in their lives. Another will be having to decide what the roles will be in the marriage. It is important they talk about how the family will function, who will provide, who will take care of things and many more decisions. Problems come up when things are assumed about how things will be done because it causes disagreements. These disagreements are easier to deal with when things are discussed before they happen.

Some of the biggest transitions in marriage would definitely be when children start coming around. During the pregnancy the wife is stressed, and the husband feels that he is being left out of the pregnancy because there is not lots he can do. Studies have shown that after the first child is born, marital satisfaction drops significantly. The main reason is because the work load of both parents increases. The mothers work load increases by about 64% once the first child is born. The father goes into provider mode and works more to be able to pay the bills that have accumulated since the baby was born. Second, all the attention goes to the baby. These problems can also be avoided by taking some simple steps. First, the wife should involve the husband in all the doctors’ appointments so that he knows what is going on with both wife and child.  This helps the husband to feel like he is involved in the process. The wife should also talk with the husband about how it feels to be pregnant. This will help him to somewhat understand what it is like to be carrying the child. Once, the child is born then there needs to be communication so that quality time can be planned for the parents. If these things are done then there is less of a chance that there will be problems with in the relationship.